This Side of Mommyhood

She’s here.

We held our breath as she took her first at 6:05 PM on October 8, 2013.

Isn’t it amazing how the world can become larger and smaller all at the same time?

We could sit and stare at her all day. Everything about her is just so beautiful. And to think that this is the precious girl we were waiting on this whole time. She was the tiny little peanut we saw in the ultrasound less than a year ago. Crazy.

There are a lot of things I hope to do as her mom. Sure, many are silly and have been laughed at by veteran moms throughout the universe for years. In the thick of things many of these well-intentioned hopes may very well fall undone.

And that’s ok.

However, there are a few little things I hope I can remember to do:

Tell her that she’s beautiful and smart each day because there will be a day when she doesn’t see herself that way.

Hold her and dry her tears because there will be a day when I won’t be able to take away her tears just by rocking her.

Put aside the dishes and laundry more often just to catch her smile because there will be a day when I won’t be able to make her smile just by touching her cheek. And honestly, one only has so many smiles in a lifetime and I want to take in as many of hers as possible.

Even though she doesn’t quite understand what I’m saying, read to her over and over again because there will be a day when she’ll no longer need me to read to her, opting instead to read in solitude.

Sometimes sneak softly into her room to watch her sleep even at risk of waking her up because can you ever really get enough of the preciousness that is a sleeping baby?

Stare into her wonder-filled eyes and soak up her looking at me as if I am her whole world because soon she’ll realize that the world is much bigger than her mom.

Those are just a few.

I packed her newborn clothes away yesterday. It’s already going by way too fast. I love that her little clothes and toys are in each room of our house. I’m sure there will be a day when I’ll just want things put away, but for now I like traces of her sweet existence everywhere.

Someone once said that being a mom is like agreeing to have your heart live outside your body. Yup, I can see that.  Becoming a parent means becoming forever vulnerable. Thankfully, God’s power is made perfect in our weakness and as far as I can tell, this vulnerability is one of the best kinds we can experience on this earth.

I love being her mom.