You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My Man. Literally.

Reflect on this chorus for a moment if you will...



Sing it, Loretta! Now, while I'm not exactly in Loretta's position I can't help but get a little territorial when other girls take a second look at my husband. I get what she's saying. I think I'll hold that hand a little tighter, don't mind if I do. I'm not worried about him looking at all (thank you Lord for my husband!), but for her sake - you know, just to send the right message that he's off limits. After all, I wouldn't want her to waste all that energy. So I'm just doing her a favor by setting the picture straight.

Now why this song has been in mind is because of a little drama below:

Joey and I were sitting on the couch some time last week checking our Facebooks and catching up on the day. Joey said "That's weird. This little high school girl from the gym just friend requested me."

My ears perked up. I think my eyes might have narrowed at the same time. A fist might have clenched as well. "Let me see that." Sure enough - there she was - friend requesting my husband.

Turns out she works at the front desk of the gym. The only time she ever talks to Joey and his gym buddy is when they check in at the front.

Me: "I think she has a crush on you."

Joey: "Oh, she's a harmless high school girl. I'm sure she's to young to think any thing of it."

"Joey, do you remember high school girls? I think you're confusing them with preschoolers. Besides, this means that you popped up in her mind somewhere other than the gym. She had this thought outside of work 'Hey, I wonder if that guy is on Facebook.' She probably looks forward to you coming to the gym. She's got motives. Trust me, I know these things - I was a high school girl once."

Joey: "I don't want to hurt her feelings and I think she's just really naive. She probably just doesn't know. I wouldn't be concerned about it. Obviously, I'm not interested either way."

Fine then. But my radar was up. I was on the lookout for this girl at the gym. Maybe she is just really really naive. But honestly, who does that? Someone who's interested - that's who.

Then, the next day she emailed him! He didn't respond. Now he was concerned too.

I knew it!!! High school girl my big toe! I see right through this whole innocent thing. Mmm...hmm...that's right. I know what she's up to.

Despite the absence of a response, she emailed him again and asked him when he and his gym buddy would be at the pool (they swim laps every now and then). He's a little panicked at this point and of course, still doesn't respond.

And finally, the other night she tries to chat with him on Facebook. He ignored her, but I had half a mind to take that computer and write her back: "Hi. I'm Joey's wife. I'm on to you. I know where you work. Keep one eye open."

At this point, I'm ready to go the gym and wait for her shift. I think we should meet formally. And honestly, it would be for her good as well. You just don't do this. What if Joey were a crazy person?

Joey mentioned it to her supervisor because of the latter. Her supervisor said that her behavior is a little surprising. What do you think? Is she just super naive or does she have motives?

Anyway, I agree with Loretta. It'll be over my dead body.