I Smell A Rat

Joey and I realized we had visitors about a month ago. It started when we heard some scurrying above our bedroom ceiling at night. Joey actually thought it was someone in our house the first time and was ready to beat somebody up. Then we noticed the scurrying pretty much all the time and in varying areas. In the living room one day. The study the next. I thought it had to be squirrels in our attic. I wish. Finally, one day they revealed themselves in the garage. It was a RAT and later we would pluralize to RAT(S). Huge Rats. It ran across the garage floor from a little hole in the wall and I promptly ran into the house. Joey ran after it with a 2x4 and bopped it on the head. So long Rat #1. We thought we were done, but not so. The scurrying was still going on. So Joey tried rat traps with peanut butter. He would come home excited to see if we had caught one only to find that they had tripped the trap and taken the goods. So they're smart. No wonder they're always in demand by science labs. Next Joey tried sticky traps. He came home and the sticky pads were symbolically stuck half way up the wall, as if they wanted to prove a point, saying "Ya think you're gonna mess w'me?" Poor Gus and Bo. They're the witnesses. They sleep in their kennels in the garage at night, the rats' prime time to do their dirty work. They would get in the dogs' food and birdseed. I can just see Bo and Gus locked in their kennels while The Rats are eating their food and taunting the beasts in the cage. THey were probably saying "Watcha gonna do, eh?". Joey finally bought poison. Slowly, the little green pellets disappeared and finally $50, 1 month, and 5 gray hairs later, the scurrying stopped. Yahoo! And then we started to notice a smell by the front door. We went into the garage and didn't really smell a lot so Joey decided to check the attic. He began to pull on the string for the attic and when he had pulled it to about a 45 degree angle, a dead rat rolled down the incline with a whoosh and landed with a thud on the garage floor. So long Rat #2. I freaked out. Disgusting. Joey was freaked out too, but he was laughing. I was inside in 2 seconds flat and if I was laughing it was only nervous-crazy laughter. Unfortunately, Rat #2 was not the source of the smell. There's one more, Rat #3, stuck in the wall. Joey and I are now almost gagging on Bath&BodyWorks' plug ins. I guess in the end The Rats had the last laugh.